Long-Distance Lovin' - A Few Tips & Tricks

Took me six tries to make this. What. A. Mess. 

Jay & I have been together for close to five and a half years. The first three of those were spent mostly in separate cities as he moved around a lot with work. We counted it up recently and over the course of our relationship we've spent approximately 470 days apart. That's 23% of our relationship. CRAZY! 

So at this point I consider myself an expert in surviving the long-distance loving situation, especially in the early months and years of a relationship. As a self-proclaimed expert on the subject I've compiled a handy list of tips to make it last even if you are miles apart. 

Skype Dinner Dates

This is my number one tip. Whenever possible we would get our dinner ready and then "eat together" the same way we would have if we had been in the same place. It allowed us to continue our dinnertime conversation routine, and stave off the loneliness that comes with returning to an empty apartment.

Obviously this is easiest when you are in the same timezones and on similar schedules. If you can't eat together, finding another time to see each other over Skype makes a huge difference.

Handwritten Letters & Packages

In this 'digital age' (am I my grandmother?) handwritten letters have been all but forgotten. There is something comforting though about opening the mailbox to find an envelope from someone you love. Knowing it was in their hands not that long ago.

Letters allowed Jay & I to be honest (and totally mushy) with one another, and gave us both something to keep us connected when one of us was away from other communication for a few days. The best was when would write little notes for one another to read on the nights/weeks we knew we wouldn't be able to get in touch any other way. 

Sending letters also allowed me to include newspaper clippings, ticket stubs, photos, etc of things going on at home, so Jay could keep up with what was happening in a tangible way. 

Email

I don't think I need to list the benefits of email to staying connected, but I couldn't leave it off the list. We found it particularly good for shorter trips or urgent information that couldn't wait to be sent in a letter. The only thing about email is that it can quickly become impersonal,  I would never have lasted on email alone! 

Phone Calls & Texting

Again, fairly self-explainitory. Hopefully you'll have one of the above options to help you stay in touch rather than just texting but even a "good morning" text can go a long way. 

Skype is always nice, but a quick (or lengthy) phone call can also be a great way to stay connected and you don't need wi-fi to make it happen! Especially during the big moments, hearing your love's voice on the line can be a huge comfort and support. 

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Get Together Whenever You Can

Jay and I were fortunate, for much of the time we lived apart we were able to travel the 2 hours each weekend to see one another, but there were times we went months with very few visits. 

If it's possible to squeeze in a visit at some point I highly recommend it, especially if one of you is in a new city temporarily.  It's nice to share that experience and create a connection as a couple to the place that's becoming a part of their lives. I loved seeing where Jay was spending his time, gaining an understanding of what his life was like when I wasn't around. 

If not for Jay's time in the valley we never would have adventured to find this cute little waterfall on the coast. 

Stay Busy

Whether you're the one who is away, or the one who stayed home it's important not to spend ALL your time pining for one another. Try joining a club, picking up some volunteer hours, going out with friends you don't see enough, anything.

Just avoid putting life on pause until you are reunited. Trust me, this I learned the hard way!

Don't Give Up

I tried. Relentlessly. Jay wasn't having any of it. The first time he went away, I was in a bad place with some family drama and fairly emotionally unstable. I hated dragging him into my drama every night, so instead I tried to push him away, but he wasn't having that. His persistence bought us the time needed for me to work through my drama and kept our relationship going.

Obviously if you have actual reasons to want out of a relationship, persistence is less ideal but if you know it's for real, don't let the challenges of long distance prevent you from trying to make it work.  It's worth it. I promise. 

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This is 100% true, I love knowing we made it through. 

So, there you have it. It will be a hard, extremely hard, but you can make it work and when you do it will be awesome. It is a challenge to be tackled, as a team, and when you make it through you will feel so united and ready to face whatever comes next! 

Have you ever done the long distance thing? How'd you get through it? 

Keep Smiling :) 

Update: Linking up with Shane for Weekend Wandering. Love this idea!