Past Expiration

FYI: This post is best enjoyed if read out loud as if you are in Grade 12 English class. 

A little backstory, Jay went to a local craft brewery last week to grab some beer. He bought their largest bottle (64oz) rather than the smaller sized bottle, more acceptable for one person (in my humble opinion). I had too much to say on the matter. 

Sidenote: The brewery recommends beer is consumed within three days of being opened. 

Ok, to give a little context the beer featured in this story
 is on the left, the bottle next to it is 650ml and then a regular
sized cooler  bottle just for comparison.
Note: We do not have a problem. I swear.

Saturday Afternoon

Kim: "Why would you buy such a big one? It's Saturday, you only have tonight to drink it before it's back to real life."

Jay: "It'll be fine, I'll drink it; Beer never goes bad."

Kim: "Sure, sure. "

Thursday

Kim: "Jay your beer is still in the fridge, it will be bad."

Jay: "Nah, it'll be fine."

Tonight (6 days after purchase): 

Jay: "Can you bring me my beer?"

Kim: "This big one? Isn't it bad by now?"

Jay: "Nah, it's still good" 

[Kim brings it over; Jay takes a drink]

A few minutes later....

Jay: "This tastes kind of flat, I'm not going to drink anymore."

Kim: "WHAT DID YOU SAY! I thought it would never go bad."

Jay: It's just a little flat. 

Kim: [Insert clever mockery here] Must be nice to have money to throw away. Seriously

Nicole (The quiet observer): Chuckles

Jay: "Yeah, yeah. You know in the past I would have just drank it out of spite, but I'm a grown up so I'm not going to. There is only one glass left anyway."

A few more minutes later....

Jay: "It's not that flat, I'm going to save it for later."

Kim: FACE-PALM. 

Boys. 

Keep Smiling :) 

P.S. Is it sad that I laughed hysterically at myself the whole time I wrote this, and then again as I dramatically read it to Jay & Nicole.