Deceivingly Different

We've been married for close to six months now.

Our marriage has lasted double that of a certain an infamous Kardashian marriage.

Going into it I expected being married to feel no different from our lives before the wedding.

We had been together for over five years.

Yup, I have five years worth of photos making silly faces like this!

We'd been living together on and off for about four years.

In the eyes of the law we were Common-Law so nothing legally changed.

Our families were already acquainted.

Hanging out with my Nan on the ferry boat, circa 2011

I didn't plan to take his last name.

Jay already referred to me as his wife at work.

We were already those mushy, too-in-love-to-be-true, newlywed wannabes.

Yet, since the wedding everything has felt just a little different. Outwardly everything looks the same, but there is just a feeling that wasn't there before.

The knowledge that we are, 100% in this together and that we acknowledged this in front of everyone we love created a feeling of certainty in our relationship.

His sister now refers to me as her sister, our families now a truly shared entity.

I can't help but smile when I see his wedding band on his finger, knowing that I put it there.

This silly grins, ALL THE TIME! 

We are more intentional in our interactions now. A little more inclined to cuddle a little longer or hug after a long day. Little habits that had been lost in the later years of our dating relationship.

More than all of these reasons, there is a feeling that I am struggling to fully describe. Just a huge feeling of contentment and pure joy. 

Wedding Photos courtesy of our lovely photographer, Sam

I didn't expect to feel as though anything had changed and instead, I feel like everything has changed. 

I hope this little, I love being married mush-fest wasn't too barf inducing. It's been on my mind, well constantly, lately so I couldn't not mention it. 

Keep Smiling :) 

The Proposal

Today's challenge is to share "Your current relationship status. If dating/married, give us a glimpse of your story! If single, share about this special season."

As you've probably gathered from my many posts on the subject, I am a newlywed. Almost 5 months ago (quit counting months, it was April!) Jay and I got married after 5.5 years together. 

I've shared plenty about this lovely man, but if you want to learn more about our relationship you can read about our chance first encounters here and our hilariously awkward first kiss story here (spoiler: I wasn't sure if it happened!!!).

I have shared bits and pieces about the proposal but don't think I've ever actually shared how it went down. Basically, it was the day after Jay's birthday and we were in Kingston, Ontario for a concert by our mutual favourite artist (Joel Plaskett). It was rainy, so after we arrived I tried to whine my way out of going to wander the streets, something I usually LOVE to do in Kingston. 

Jay was insistent though and finally I agreed to go, just for a short walk. He takes me into this gorgeous waterfront park, where we'd spent many days. I was kind of walking ahead and noticed he was lagging behind, so being the loving girlfriend I am I turned around and said something to the effect of "hurry up, it's raining and I want to watch TV."

Then, I saw the ring box and burst into tears. 

He spoke, said a whole bunch of really nice things. None of which I heard or remember. I was hysterically happy. 

Eventually I calmed down a bit, and then became very preoccupied with if he had asked my dad (which we'd always planned for), as I couldn't figure out when he would have had a chance. But, the day before he had called and spoke to my parents. I spent the next hour on the phone and leaving emotional voicemails. 

I always knew we would get engaged and married but I had kind of expected to wait a few more years for the ring. He completely surprised me. 

The original ring (yes, I got two but I'll explain that another time), was his mother's engagement ring (she eventually got a replacement) which he had gotten a jeweller to modify, by replacing the diamond with a sapphire as I had always said I wanted a gemstone ring. He had also gotten the ring resized, to a size 12, so I couldn't wear it for a while. 

It's hard to tell from this photo, but the band was WAY too big for me.

We celebrated with dinner at our favourite pub in Kingston (like a good grown up I had chicken fingers and fries) and then we loved our lives at the Joel Plaskett Show. 

It's worth mentioning that within a weekend of getting the ring sized I was playing with it on the couch, got it stuck under the cushions some how and had to wait a week for Jay, who was away for work to get home, flip over the couch, cut the underneath fabric and dig around for the ring. It was a bit of a mess. 

I could go on and on about how wonderful Jay is, and how truly blessed I am to have him in my life, but I think I've said enough. If you are interested in reading all the mushy details check out the links above! 

Keep Smiling :)

My Favourite Tradition & A Big Idea!

Hello Lovely Friends, 

Following yesterday's inspiration posts and just the influx of videos, stories and books I've noticed lately on the power of kindness I have been struck by a big idea and before I launch this project I wanted to throw it out there to you, to get feedback and hopefully create a collaboration. 

Are you ready? 

Update (Sept 13): I've decided to change the name to something a little less, well- icky. 

Ok, so in Canada Thanksgiving is in October, so the month is generally filled with those lovely thankful feelings. This led me to thinking maybe I could create a daily or weekly challenge or link-up around being thankful and from there it wasn't a far jump to my big idea. 

I want to launch a giant (ok, hopefully) giant Contagious Kindness project, where every Friday we can gather to share our big or little acts of kindness from the week. Early in October I was going to post a giant list of ideas, and then after each Friday's link-up I'll post about all the great projects everyone undertook to keep the ideas flowing. 

To me, being kind can be a big action like volunteering or donating (money or materials) or a little action like remembering to say thank you to the bus driver or giving a stranger a smile. It's all about taking that extra step to do something kind for someone else. 

So, to sum up (I know I tend to ramble), in October I want to launch a weekly link-up where we share acts of kindness we've done, witnessed or a planning for the future in the hopes of inspiring one another to do better every day! I'm not looking for you to sign your soul away on a contract and I won't hunt you down if you don't participate but I'd love to know your thoughts or ideas on the project! 

I know Friday is host to many other link ups (especially the popular 5 on Friday) but your act of kindness could totally be one of your 5 things! 

Alright, enough rambling. 

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This was one of the prompts I was most excited about, "Tell us about a favourite tradition. It could be a family tradition or from a holiday, university, you-name-it. What makes it so special?"

This tradition is a Kimberley & Jason specialty, that unintentionally has become one of the first traditions that we share as a couple. I'm excited to see how this new tradition evolves over the next few years.

Birthday Pies 

See, Jay's birthday is usually over the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend (in October), and he associates the two. So, one year I said "What kind of cake do you want?" and he said, "Pumpkin Pie." 

I freaked out. I didn't really like pie. Had never eaten Pumpkin Pie. Was pretty sure I'd hate it. Worst of all maybe, we were living far from home so no one could provide any hands on help. But, with the help of the internet I made pumpkin pie- with a crust from scratch. 

It was so good that the next day, Jay proposed. 

This year, for my birthday Jay said, "What kind of cake do you want?" and I said "Lemon Meringue Pie." So, yeah, Birthday Pies, kind of our new thing. 

Neither of us make what one would call a pretty pie, but they taste delicious so that's really enough for me! 

Who knew pie was easy to make? I sure didn't? 

Keep Smiling :) 

Creating The Ceremony

Our wedding was far from traditional and full of DIY's but none were more challenging than writing our ceremony.

We opted to have my younger sister officiate, and looked into all the possible ways she could become a wedding officiant online, but where we got married (Nova Scotia), none of those online ordinations are recognized.

Still, we didn't want to give up on her officiating so we hired a Justice of the Peace to perform the legal ceremony the morning of the wedding and then have J-Dar (my sister's well loved nickname) perform the ceremony for our family and friends.

Courtesy of our lovely photographer, Samantha

We wanted to keep the morning legalities as low-key and unauthentic as possible, so not to tarnish the actual wedding for everyone (including us). Jay & I, along with the Best Man & Maid of Honour were the only people there for the ceremony in Jay's hotel room. No photos, no fancy clothes, just us making it legal.

For the real ceremony, since we were having my sister officiate we had to create our own ceremony basically from scratch.

We scoured the internet for ideas but eventually had to revert back to using a good old fashion book to build the ceremony from. This book was the best resource I found, it has information about all kinds of different ceremonies, traditional and more modern so we picked from a variety of ceremony styles and then edited and re-wrote parts to create one perfect for us! 

We opted to include a blessing from our guests, a reading by Jay's sister (Captain Corelli's Mandolin) and to write our own vows. The whole ceremony was about 15 minutes long and much to the dismay of my button bouquet, it was the part of the wedding that people complimented the most.

Courtesy of our lovely photographer, Samantha

Having my sister officiate and his sister do a reading meant so much to Jay and I. It was important to us to have our siblings involved and took the stress out of the day, knowing that the people who knew us best were the ones responsible for getting us hitched! 

For us, writing the ceremony and having my sister officiate was the right choice. I don't begrudge anyone for making a different choice. I understand other couples chose churches, spiritual leaders or non-denominational officiants because the lovely thing about weddings is they are yours, and yours alone. Researching for our wedding allowed me to peek inside so many weddings and it is amazing how personal each one is!

Linking up for Wedding Wednesday with Meredith from Belle In Boots and Mary from a Little Bit Of Class, Little Bit Of Sass!  

Keep Smiling :) 

The Grand Canyon

So last week we went to Vegas for FIVE days! We aren't really party people so that aspect didn't really appeal to us, but we are apparently very good at being over-excited tourists and taking selfies! 

I'm going to share lots of pictures and details from our time in Las Vegas later this week, but today I've got to share a few of these gorgeous photos from the Grand Canyon (West Rim). Being Canadian (at least that's my excuse) I didn't know much about the Grand Canyon before we went. I thought I knew what to expect, a big hole in the ground, but it was breathtaking in every direction. 

We took a bus tour from our hotel in Vegas to the West Rim, which took about three hours compared to the five hours plus it takes to get to the South Rim. The West Rim is smaller and the park is operated by the Hualapai Tribe. There are two viewing areas Eagle and Guano point and both were beautiful in their own way. 

Ok, that's enough detail- now for the pictures...

We drove past the Hoover Dam and stopped for a quick photo on the way back to Vegas. I think Jay could have spent a day they reading all about how it was built and how it works. 

The white on the rocks shows how low the water has dropped in recent years. 

Keep Smiling :) 

Somewhere Between Here & There Guest Blog!

The past few weeks have been full of changes around here- and now I have something else new and exciting to share! My first guest post! A close friend (and fellow blogger) has written a little something about our upcoming wedding that I am pumped to share! Nicole has taken a bit of a hiatus from blogging, but hopefully she will jump back in now! 

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Hold on to your hats ladies and gents...it's about to get sappy up in here.

I thought about writing this post on my blog, but thought it might be slightly irrelevant to my readers as they're not exactly aware of Kim's upcoming wedding. So here I am tapping away at the keys; honoured to be writing for Kimberley's Quests!

As of today we are 2 days away from Kim and Jay's wedding day! I'm so excited that I get to be part of their special day, it's been a long time coming, and I couldn't be happier for the two love bugs!

Let me give you a bit of history, you're probably wondering who this strange woman is taking over Kim's Post...

I'm lucky enough to have a long history with both the bride and groom, which makes this wedding even more special. I first met Kim at camp when we were 16 (though we hadn't started our friendship until a few years later) fast forward to 2008 and we're reunited as co-workers working for camp. We had many adventures and hilarious times and became fast friends. Fortunate for us we also went to the same University enabling us to continue our fun adventures, and build a ballin' friendship (does anyone use that word anymore...ballin'?)

Jason and I grew up in the same town, and went to Jr. High, High School, and University together. We both hung around with different crowds so we didn't become good friends until Kim and Jason started dating.

It's been interesting to see all of this love unfold from the start, a blooming of something truly special. I know that sounds unrealistic and cheesy, but really they give us other poor saps hope!

I've had the entertaining pleasure of living with Kim during University (with Jay as our honorary 6th roommate) as well as being welcomed into their home while I moved to Ottawa on a whim for two months. Many laughs, tears, adventures and hilarious arguments...well at least from my perspective. Through it all, they not only remain best friends, but they have this connection and flow with each other that I don't think they notice...that's true love right there folks! 

I couldn't picture one with out the other, they're a packaged deal, and I can't wait to share this special day with the both of you! 

Here's to you, Kim and Jason! To many more laughs and adventures! 

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You can check out Nicole's little corner of the internet here! I promise she doesn't always blog about me, though I have been known to make an appearance!! 

Keep Smiling :) 

It's Real

Following Wednesday's pity party post it seems like a post about my almost husband (cue excited squeal!) might be warranted. 

I love this man more than anything, and the fact that my feelings are reciprocated makes me smile every day. He's a fantastic person and despite my whining yesterday I am truly excited to marry him. 

I am running short on time today though, so this love is going to be shared through hilariously bad photos from the past 5.5 years. 

Fact 1: It is possible Jay likes to make silly faces in photos more than I do. We probably have five hundred photos of variations of these faces and love every one! 

Fact 2: He and my sister are bros. Full-fledged best friend bros. I'd like to think I am the glue that binds them together, but it's just not true. They actually prefer it when I leave them alone to watch the Discovery Channel in peace. 

Fact 3: My family loves him. Again, he is often more popular than I am. 

I am getting dangerously close to being late for work (yet again) but know that these are just 3 in a list of about a million reasons why I think Jay is fantastically awesome. 

Thank you for humouring my emotional and mushy posts this week- I promise once the wedding is over I will either give up blogging or try and be more interesting- it could go either way. 

Keep Smiling :)

Wedding Woes

We are thisclose to "the big day."

It. Is. Crazy.

I was so calm for a while, but the wedding panic has come back in full swing.

I love Jay and I can't wait to be his wife, but... I will be happy when the wedding planning and preparation is over.

I'll admit, part of my problem with the past & upcoming weeks is that I can't stress eat my feelings. My dress currently fits perfectly, I don't want to risk busting a zipper for the sake of some delicious candy or chips- even if those delicious treats would save my sanity. [I know this is a terrible thing to do, but sometimes you just need a treat to get you through!]

Had a pretty good text rant session with my sister on Monday.

The constant questions are also getting me down. I am so used to being independent and free of the demands of everyone else. Not this week. EVERYONE has questions and some are causing me to question every detail of the wedding. I know they mean well, but after this being a solo venture for so long I am getting stage-fright about sharing every detail. 

My phone is too old to take a screenshot, so I took a picture with a camera to share this with you.

I'm exhausted. We have basically handmade this whole wedding (more on that after the wedding!) which feels great but has also left us both exhausted. I want to savour this moment with Jay, but I am so tired it's hard to find the motivation. 

Did I mention I can't stress eat?!?!? 

Thank you for humouring this pity party of one today. I swear I can't wait to marry Jay I'm just over the waiting! We're going home a few days before the wedding so I am optimistic that it will be easier to be excited once we are surrounded by everyone we love!

How do you cope with stress? Do you have any solutions for me that don't involve candy? Or, any good justification for why I can keep eating the candy I love so much? 

Keep Smiling :)

Long-Distance Lovin' - A Few Tips & Tricks

Took me six tries to make this. What. A. Mess. 

Jay & I have been together for close to five and a half years. The first three of those were spent mostly in separate cities as he moved around a lot with work. We counted it up recently and over the course of our relationship we've spent approximately 470 days apart. That's 23% of our relationship. CRAZY! 

So at this point I consider myself an expert in surviving the long-distance loving situation, especially in the early months and years of a relationship. As a self-proclaimed expert on the subject I've compiled a handy list of tips to make it last even if you are miles apart. 

Skype Dinner Dates

This is my number one tip. Whenever possible we would get our dinner ready and then "eat together" the same way we would have if we had been in the same place. It allowed us to continue our dinnertime conversation routine, and stave off the loneliness that comes with returning to an empty apartment.

Obviously this is easiest when you are in the same timezones and on similar schedules. If you can't eat together, finding another time to see each other over Skype makes a huge difference.

Handwritten Letters & Packages

In this 'digital age' (am I my grandmother?) handwritten letters have been all but forgotten. There is something comforting though about opening the mailbox to find an envelope from someone you love. Knowing it was in their hands not that long ago.

Letters allowed Jay & I to be honest (and totally mushy) with one another, and gave us both something to keep us connected when one of us was away from other communication for a few days. The best was when would write little notes for one another to read on the nights/weeks we knew we wouldn't be able to get in touch any other way. 

Sending letters also allowed me to include newspaper clippings, ticket stubs, photos, etc of things going on at home, so Jay could keep up with what was happening in a tangible way. 

Email

I don't think I need to list the benefits of email to staying connected, but I couldn't leave it off the list. We found it particularly good for shorter trips or urgent information that couldn't wait to be sent in a letter. The only thing about email is that it can quickly become impersonal,  I would never have lasted on email alone! 

Phone Calls & Texting

Again, fairly self-explainitory. Hopefully you'll have one of the above options to help you stay in touch rather than just texting but even a "good morning" text can go a long way. 

Skype is always nice, but a quick (or lengthy) phone call can also be a great way to stay connected and you don't need wi-fi to make it happen! Especially during the big moments, hearing your love's voice on the line can be a huge comfort and support. 

Source

Get Together Whenever You Can

Jay and I were fortunate, for much of the time we lived apart we were able to travel the 2 hours each weekend to see one another, but there were times we went months with very few visits. 

If it's possible to squeeze in a visit at some point I highly recommend it, especially if one of you is in a new city temporarily.  It's nice to share that experience and create a connection as a couple to the place that's becoming a part of their lives. I loved seeing where Jay was spending his time, gaining an understanding of what his life was like when I wasn't around. 

If not for Jay's time in the valley we never would have adventured to find this cute little waterfall on the coast. 

Stay Busy

Whether you're the one who is away, or the one who stayed home it's important not to spend ALL your time pining for one another. Try joining a club, picking up some volunteer hours, going out with friends you don't see enough, anything.

Just avoid putting life on pause until you are reunited. Trust me, this I learned the hard way!

Don't Give Up

I tried. Relentlessly. Jay wasn't having any of it. The first time he went away, I was in a bad place with some family drama and fairly emotionally unstable. I hated dragging him into my drama every night, so instead I tried to push him away, but he wasn't having that. His persistence bought us the time needed for me to work through my drama and kept our relationship going.

Obviously if you have actual reasons to want out of a relationship, persistence is less ideal but if you know it's for real, don't let the challenges of long distance prevent you from trying to make it work.  It's worth it. I promise. 

Source
This is 100% true, I love knowing we made it through. 

So, there you have it. It will be a hard, extremely hard, but you can make it work and when you do it will be awesome. It is a challenge to be tackled, as a team, and when you make it through you will feel so united and ready to face whatever comes next! 

Have you ever done the long distance thing? How'd you get through it? 

Keep Smiling :) 

Update: Linking up with Shane for Weekend Wandering. Love this idea!